Smart Things Your Mother Said...About Online Dating?

Whew! It’s been a little while since my last post and I’m happy to say that I can now sit upright, stand and walk without pain. This makes thinking about blog topics MUCH easier! I used to hear my mother say, “If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.” Guess what? She’s right. I think today’s blog is dedicated to the little pearls of wisdom my mother said while I was growing up, that I’m only now beginning to understand.


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Whew! It’s been a little while since my last post and I’m happy to say that I can now sit upright, stand and walk without pain. This makes thinking about blog topics MUCH easier! I used to hear my mother say, “If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.” Guess what? She’s right. I think today’s blog is dedicated to the little pearls of wisdom my mother said while I was growing up, that I’m only now beginning to understand.

Let’s talk about putting your best foot forward. Remember your mother saying “you get out what you put in?” (If you don’t remember, you weren’t listening or were too busy rolling your teenage eyes to hear her.) It’s a basic lesson that those who have learned from experience try to pass on to the next generation. Its truth resonates in all aspects of life, and online dating is no different.

So, lesson one: put a little effort into your profile. That doesn’t mean you should write a tome or include seventeen pictures. In fact, if you write too much someone will probably a) get overwhelmed, only skim what you’ve read (if that!) and judge you on your pictures alone (boo!) or b) assume that you love yourself waaaay more than you’ll ever be able to love another. (Hello? You did post seventeen pictures!)

Online dating is an incredible forum to meet others, so give yourself every advantage. Remember that people perusing your profile DON’T know you and are deciding who you are based on your pictures and what you’ve written about yourself. Just like you can’t “hear” intonation in a text message, even the best-intentioned profile can be misinterpreted. It’s quality over quantity (Thanks, Mom!) that yields the best results, so be selective in how you present yourself. It’s the only thing potential matches have to go on.

So, what kind of effort should you put in? Work smart, not hard! Think about what you look for and like in potential matches’ profiles and apply the principals to your own. Do you like a concise but complete profile? One that shows direction and seriousness? Do you appreciate at least three pictures, one of which shows your potential date’s body type? (Oh, and PS…Guys, keep your shirt on. We don’t need another Congressman Weiner picture. I can’t tell you how much that shot of you in the bathroom mirror taken with your cell phone turns off both women AND men…If you have a sensible picture of you and your little sister playing paddleball at the beach…well that might be OK…)

Take cues from the profiles you admire. Be concise, be yourself and show a a handful of pictures on your profile. Keep them recent, too. The goal is to be the same person in your profile as the one who walks through the door for that first date…both in appearance and in what you say. You’ll appreciate the same in your date…you know where I’m gong with this: classic golden rule.

And that leads us to honesty. Honesty IS the best policy. The most successful profile clearly defines both who you are and what you are looking for in a partner. In this respect, online dating is no different than its analog cousin. If you are honest with yourself and others about what you want, you’ll have a better chance of finding it.

Profiles give you the opportunity both to distill the things you like most about yourself into a few sentences as well as day-dream about the type of person you’d like to meet. And the best part? It doesn’t have to stay a day-dream. This isn’t a wish you write into your diary at night and put on your bedside table while you sleep. It’s a profile you post it in a place where other like-minded people can find you…and you can find them! (They can even find you online while you sleep! Bet your diary can’t do that.)

Take home lesson? Listen to your mother; you can accomplish anything you set your mind to…so what are you waiting for? Go grab the bull by the horns.

I’m off to London and Israel for a couple of weeks…let’s see what kind of scoop I can bring you from the dating scene abroad.

Until then!


XO,The Match Maven