A Note of Gratitude

I’m perfecting the art of writing flat on my back, my laptop resting on my knees. I tripped up the stairs (UP the stairs? Really?!) and now a few trips to the doctor and an MRI later, I can stand only as tall as a little, old lady. Really. My back is in spasm and I cannot stretch myself upright. Walking, in addition to making every muscle in my back ache, is downright embarrassing. One of my girlfriends posted the picture of Edna from the "Incredibles" on my facebook page…and she wasn’t wrong. A cane, in fact, is looking like a smart idea.

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I’m perfecting the art of writing flat on my back, my laptop resting on my knees. I tripped up the stairs (UP the stairs? Really?!) and now a few trips to the doctor and an MRI later, I can stand only as tall as a little old lady. Really. My back is in spasm and I cannot stretch myself upright. Walking, in addition to making every muscle in my back ache, is downright embarrassing. One of my girlfriends posted the picture of Edna from the "Incredibles" on my facebook page…and she wasn’t wrong. A cane, in fact, is looking like a smart idea.

This feeling reminds me of the one I had after a nasty bout of the stomach flu. After 24 hours of you-know-what-ing, I couldn’t keep even an ice chip down. TMI. But there’s a point: I swore I would never take drinking water for granted again. But eventually, I did.

And now, all I want is to be able to stand upright and take a walk and enjoy the early fall weather. I have shoes to return at DSW in Union Square. I have bills to pay that require me to sit up for more than two minutes at a time. I have physical therapy that I can’t yet accomplish. So now, I swear that I will never take walking (or standing, for that matter) for granted, again. And although I’ll try, you and I both know that eventually I will forget my resolve to remember.

But today I remembered that it’s my six month wedding anniversary.* I’m spending it flat on my back (and not in the fun way) and my husband will be at work until after ten tonight. But do you know what I haven’t forgotten to be grateful for? Him. And do you know what else? The internet.

If it hadn't been for online dating, Adam and I never would have met.

We kept different hours. We lived on different sides of town (and when we’re talking East Side/West Side, it might as well be another universe.) We had different friends. But we are meant for each other.

Sometimes my eyes will flutter open in the morning and Adam’s hand will be on a pillow, hovering over my eye. I’m pretty dependent on my glasses (another thing I’ll have to remember to be grateful for on a daily basis) but my eyes eventually focus and the wedding band encircling his left ring finger will pop into view. Our wedding band. And I’ll turn my head in surprise to look at the beautiful man asleep in the white sheets next to me. And he’s mine! I used to lay awake at night wondering if I would ever find this happiness, this love. And not only did we find each other, we married each other! I still marvel at our good luck.

Because if we hadn’t been online, we never would have met.

It takes courage to put yourself out there.

But the rewards can be endless. Endless.

And I will never forget to be grateful for that.



XO, The Match Maven


*written on October 3rd