Never Underestimate The Power of An Online Dating Headline

While searching for the love of my life online, I was especially proud of my arguably geeky headline: “Grammar Snob Seeks A Scrabble Opponent Who’s Got Game.” I thought I’d struck a nice balance and figured I was throwing these guys a softball—you know, an obvious topic they could bring up in the first email. Within two seconds of seeing my picture they knew that I was either a) cleverish b) snobbish or c) played Scrabble.


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While searching for the love of my life online, I was especially proud of my arguably geeky headline: “Grammar Snob Seeks A Scrabble Opponent Who’s Got Game.” I thought I’d struck a nice balance and figured I was throwing these guys a softball—you know, an obvious topic they could bring up in the first email. Within two seconds of seeing my picture they knew that I was either a) cleverish b) snobbish or c) played Scrabble.

Next to a profile picture with a little cleavage, I imagined I’d attract bright guys who were up for a challenge and discourage the ones who were afraid of me.

But even the guys in left field caught my pitch and lo and behold, I had many an offer to play Scrabble—some more enticing than others. (Remember, these were the days before Scrabulous, when finding an opponent under the age of 75 and outside of a nursing home was more difficult than online dating, itself.)

It was fascinating to see men’s tactics when using my headline as a tool to contact me: some wrote that they were afraid I’d kick their asses, others politely offered to play me in a game, and others still (read: egomaniacs) were convinced they could kick my verbose ass. But no matter, my headline gave suitors the opportunity to start a relatively engaging (and sometimes enjoyably antagonistic) conversation.

Here are a few of my favorite subject lines…pulled from the archives. Yes, archives. I knew I was hanging onto these for a reason. And a blogger was born. (Thanks Hotmail storage space):

“How’s my grammar” -- Cute. Although he didn’t add a question mark, he DID read my profile and make an attempt at a joke.

“Tiles” -- Slightly more subtle. He’s showing me that he’s an advanced Scrabble player who is familiar with the playing pieces.

“Touche (with an accent aigue)” -- This guy is clearly trying to prove that not only is he smart, he also speaks French and knows that I’d be offended if he didn’t use the appropriate accent on a French word. I think I had him terrified.

I even had one guy argue that I should have employed “whose” rather than “who’s” in my headline: “For someone obsessed with grammar, shouldn’t you have known to say ‘whose’?”

Sigh. He wanted me to be impressed by his grammatical superiority and say, “Touche (with an accent aigue),” but alas, who’s is a contraction of Who Has. Grammar Snob Seeks a Scrabble Opponent Who Has Got Game. Although I’m using the colloquial “got game”, my headline was correct. I didn’t have the heart to write back and tell him.

Now, here’s an example that displays advanced technique. Take note! His subject line pulls me via “…” usage into the body of his email and right into his punch line:

Subject line: “I’ll take you down…”
Body of email : “…on the Scrabble board! Just for the record… :-)”

While he gained an excellent mark for the well-played subject line/email content connection, the East German judge deducted points for the nose on the emoticon. I don’t loathe an emoticon (although I know many who do), but I recommend that all men strictly limit them--especially if the smileys have noses and eyebrows. More anatomy than the already suspect eyes and mouth can REALLY ruin your game.

Women, it might be unfair, but your emoticon usage is slightly more liberal. Don’t abuse it. There are far more creative ways to be cute.

But the ultimate winner? Here’s my husband’s subject line on the first e-mail he ever wrote me: “Scrabble? Let’s Do It”

It’s perfectly “him.” He’s up for ANYTHING. Insert: “Ping Pong? Let’s Do it. Trapeze Art? Let’s Do It. Climb Aconcagua? Let’s Do It.” Add that enthusiasm to a couple very well written and thoughtful emails…and we had the Scrabble opponent of my dreams.

Writing a headline that speaks to your interests will pique your potential match’s curiosity. Do you watch movies three times a week? Then write a headline that will entice a fellow movie-buff to contact you. Otherwise you could end up with me, someone who has trouble committing to more than a fast-forwarded episode of “House Hunters” on DVR.

And that could have been avoided with a better headline.

Remember, if you create a catchy headline, you’re less likely to receive an uninspired email entitled, “Hey.” Booooooring.

And don’t forget, this goes both ways. Try using your potential match’s headline in your e-mail subject line and see where it leads you.

In my case, my Scrabble score definitely improved.

XO, The Match Maven