Putting Yourself in a Target-Rich Environment

Since meeting my husband online, I’ve helped countless men and women with their dating profiles.“Why wouldn’t you go online?” I’d asked a particularly reluctant girlfriend last year. “Imagine that you’re waiting tables at a restaurant in the city, but that you’re dream is to be on Broadway.” Hope the producer sits down for lunch one day or take charge and go to the open-call auditions? Online dating is the open-call auditions of romance.

***

Since meeting my husband online, I’ve helped countless men and women with their dating profiles.

“Why wouldn’t you go online?” I’d asked a particularly reluctant girlfriend last year. “Imagine that you’re waiting tables at a restaurant in the city, but that you’re dream is to be on Broadway. Everyday, you hope that a big producer will sit at one of your tables, recognize your inherent talent through your three-piece polyester tuxedo, and offer you a job in his next production.” I paused dramatically for effect (because sometimes, that's how I roll!) “Or you could go to the open call auditions. Which do you think will get you what you want?” I lowered my chin and lifted my eyebrows pointedly as I looked at her, knowing that I’d made my point. “Dating is the same. Put yourself in a position of power in a target-rich environment.”

With online dating, odds are in your favor that others are putting themselves out there for the same reasons you are. Whether you are looking for your life partner or just want more experience dating, different sites can offer you like-minded individuals. And believe it or not, even if you haven’t found a love-match, you may make friends.

I met one man who wasn’t for me, but I thought he was such a good guy that I set him up with a couple of my girlfriends. And around the time my husband and I met, I had been communicating more slowly with another man. When he suggested we meet, I demurred, explaining that I’d gone on a date with someone and wanted to see where it was going. I remember saying, “it wouldn’t be fair to any of us if I met you.” He responded in a surprising way. He had purchased a block of tickets to a benefit I was producing and was so impressed that he decided we should become friends anyway. To this day we are in contact and my husband and I invite him to birthday parties. I’m happy to say that he proposed to the next girl he met on the dating site after me.

XO, The Match Maven